True
by Valentine Angel
Summary: Yaoi Seifer x Zell. Set just where FFVIII left off, Seifer and Zell's present and future is explained... and can they come to terms with the past?


Disclaimer: all not mine. Done.  
Please give suggestions, ideas, etc as the rating of this story is subject to change to appeal to the Seifer x Zell fans! Oh yeah, sorry this is a short chapter, but I've got no word processor. I had to type this in Notepad. That is BAD! Enjoy the fic, feedback is appreciated.  
  
  
----- TRUE -----  
  
  
The late spring breeze was cool and refreshing, and had caught a little of the ocean as it gently spritzed brine over Balamb, which was quiet and peaceful as ever, despite the events that had taken place all over the world.  
  
Zell Dincht smiled as he felt the damp on his tatooed cheek. He took in a lungful of air as he walked up to the door of his home, looking hesitantly around. It felt so good to be back home after all the fighting and travelling! In truth, Garden was his home-from-home, but Zell had decided ever since it had been able to fly, it had lost some of its... identity. At the time, it was lucky that Balamb Garden was discovered to be mobile, but to Zell, now it sat back where it belonged, gave him a sense of satisfaction that everything was over.  
He, Squall, and all his friends had defeated Ultemecia. Squall nearly didn't make it, but Rinoa managed to "find" him, lost in Ultemecia's Time Compression, trapped by his own doubts and fears. It had confused Zell to say the least, but if everyone was back, he couldn't care.  
  
In fact, the moment Garden had touched the ground, Zell had made his excuses to anyone who had spotted him - SeeD or no - and dashed off to tell his Ma what had happened and that everything was going to be alright. And he didn't care whether he lost a SeeD rank for disobediance; this could not wait.  
  
Zell looked at his own door. He wondered if he should knock, being pleasently mannered, but couldn't wait that long, and pushed the door open.  
"Ma, I'm home!" Zell called, stepping inside.  
A flurry of footsteps sounded on the stairs, and Mrs. Dincht appeared. Her eyes widened to see Zell there alone, and she hurried even more. Her eyes met Zell's and studied them to make sure it was really him. Zell hugged his mother.  
"Zell! I was so, so worried after you left," she said. "I heard so many rumours... things about you going off to stop some terrible disaster... and I heard you, Zell, were in the centre of it all!"  
Zell closed his eyes and squeezed his mother reassuringly. "I'm okay, Ma," he said. They let go and he grinned characteristically. His mother smiled back.  
"I was upstairs, watching Garden fly overhead," Mrs. Dincht said, "And I wondered if I should go over there to find you, or if you'd come. How did you get permission to come so soon?"  
"I didn't," said Zell, embarassedly. Mrs. Dincht tutted.  
"Brainless boy," she said half-scoldingly, half-fondly, but didn't say anymore on the subject. "Are you thirsty, dear? Let me get you a cup of tea and you tell me everything that's happened!"  
Zell's felt pleased at the reception he'd been given.   
"Oh - " Mrs. Dincht broke off and looked flustered. "I've another young gentleman here. He said he had two friends here somewhere in Balamb, and that he was waiting for Garden. He looked like the fighting sort, came in here just after I saw the Garden overhead. I made him some tea. You go tell him it's here," she said to Zell. She then turned over to the stove to light it. "He's in the sitting room."  
Zell was surprised. A SeeD candidate not in Garden? Did they fail, or were they left behind? No - that was impossible. They had re-visited Balamb, so there was no way someone couldn't have missed the Garden. He shrugged, and felt really content with the world. He no longer had any worries; his friend Squall had finally got over his stubborness and had accepted Rinoa, he's been hailed as one of the heroes by Garden and now his Ma... all he needed now was the love of his life to appear in front of him and he'd been in heaven.  
He pushed on the living room door, with a big smile on his face, and scanned for the person. His smile faded and his face and body froze as his eyes met the person.  
  
Seifer Almasy was sitting in Zell's own home. The sorceress' knight, who had commanded Galbadia to attack Balamb Garden. Whose hobby was to bully and insult Zell, and his best friend, Squall. And, he had tried to kill them both on more than one occasion.  
Zell, under normal circumstances, would have kicked the table aside and engaged in fisticuffs. But here, Seifer did not seem a threat. He seemed... pitiful, really.  
  
Seifer's appearence was somewhat neglected, as his position under Ultemecia became more gruelling. But he looked cleaner, and for that it made him look worse: his trenchcoat had been washed, his hair had been brushed, but his manner was alarmingly uncharacteristic.  
The old Seifer, before all of the sorceress trouble, would have looked up at Zell immediately with a trademark smirk and said "what do you look so worried about, chicken wuss? Can't take me on in your own home, or are you afraid of breaking something other than the ornaments?"   
But Seifer's shoulders were stooped instead of held back proudly, and his elbows rested on his knees. His gloved hands were holding a half-empty cup of tea or milky coffee, and the gunblade that never left his side was now leaning against the wall haphazardly. Seifer himself was staring at the floor, not even looking up as Zell now stared at him.  
Zell couldn't think of a word to say when his mother came back into the room.  
"Your tea's nearly ready," Zell's mother said to Zell with a kindly smile. She then turned to Seifer. "Would you like another cup of tea, dear?"  
Seifer looked up for the first time, his eyes not meeting Zell's, but shook his head and returned to look at the floor again. Zell's mother nodded, and decided not to interfere, left the room, and closed the door behind her.  
  
Zell was speechless, but Seifer was not going to say anything anytime soon, and it disturbed Zell to see his enemy in such despondancy.  
"Hey, Seifer," Zell said quietly, sitting down a small distance away, so he was in front of him.  
"...."  
Seifer blinked slowly, and simply sipped half-heartedly at his tea.  
Zell tried to push various insults from a lot of things he wanted to say to this guy at the back of his mind. Seifer could, right now, be playing some childish mind-game on him, the way it used to be. The way it had been before they even had left the orphanage.  
Zell tried a different tactic to make him talk.  
"Where's Raijin and Fujin?" he asked.  
Zell looked intently at Seifer for any response. He was still looking down, so Zell couldn't see his face. But after a short pause, Seifer replied, "When Garden flew overhead... they stopped fishing and went." Seifer then said quietly, almost to himself, "Garden was their home. It was right they should go back."  
Zell flinched at the bluntness of the reply. Seifer was obviously messed up. "How 'bout you?"  
Seifer made a quiet sarcastic sound. "I can't go back." he said.  
"Wha...? Seifer, no-one's gonna hold it all against ya," Zell lied between his teeth. "It wasn't your fault, right? The sorceress was the enemy... she enslaved you." Zell hazarded this. Was Seifer enslaved? It was the conclusion everyone else had come to, there were only a few who considered him as... evil.  
Seifer put his cup down and looked Zell in the eyes for the fist time. They had lost their pride and shine.  
"I want to." Seifer said, showing raw honesty that frightened Zell. Seifer had never opened up to anyone. Ever. "I'd like to walk back in there right now, with Raijin and Fujin. They're prepared to take the worst." Seifer sighed defeatedly. "Why am I telling you all this, what do you care?"  
"We're not enemies," insisted Zell. "Not anymore. Okay?" Zell felt again, he was lying.  
"Stop lying to yourself," Seifer snapped, showing some Seifer attitude hadn't escaped. "I'm the bastard who tried to kill you and your friends, not to mention most of Garden, and I should go back and act like none of this ever happened?"  
"So, what are you going to do instead?" Zell asked, sensing that his argument was failing and tried shock tactics instead.  
"... I don't know." Seifer looked down again.  
Zell sighed. Oh, how he hated that man. He was constantly acting like some spoiled aristocratic child, was swollen-headed, and liked to bully anyone who he thought he could rile easily. He went around, knowing he could look and act like some superstar model, and be a natural leader to boot. Zell hated him for commiting so many acts of bloodshed. And he hated him for making Zell feel powerless. He was raw dominance, and was unflappable. Zell could get angered easily by a tiny offensive comment, Seifer could laugh anything thrown at him off, with a pitiful glance at the person who tried.   
But the thing Zell hated the most, was that he admired the idiot. He had so many bad qualities, but looking at it another way, as long as you were on Seifer's good side then they could also be good ones. He was strong, independent, loyal, and had great charisma. And Zell hated being put down by someone he actually had idolised.  
  
Zell looked at the man, who seemed to had fallen from the top of the world. He felt sorry for him - as any human would do, and perhaps it was also due to the fact Zell had so many things to celebrate before Seifer had turned up. On the other hand, he was going to miss out on the celebrations if he stuck around long. All this time here that he had wanted to spend with his Ma, giving a blow-by-blow recollection of what had happened, had been spent on working out why Seifer looked like a shade of his usual self.  
In the distance somewhere, cheering could be heard and loud footsteps running. It had to be SeeD students, running to meet their parents and friends to relate the extraordinary events of the last few weeks. The shouts of joy were mingled with laughs. Suddenly, the living room door burst open and several SeeDs burst in, of both genders, and grabbed Zell.  
"Hey!" Zell protested, but they laughed happily.  
"You're a hero, Zell!"  
"Knew you had it!"  
"You're Balamb's new icon!"  
"You've gotta come back to Garden. Squall's gonna make a speech!"  
"Uh..." Zell felt embarassed. "I'll - I'll be along in a minute," he stammered.  
The SeeDs stopped hugging him, and gave carefree waves as they ran out the door away, the chatter never ceasing.  
Zell shut the living room door again and turned back to Seifer, who looked passive.  
"You can come back with me," Zell offered.  
Seifer snorted. "While Leonheart makes his speech, standing with Rinoa?" he shook his head disgustedly. "Forget that."  
"I'm trying to help ya!" Zell said crossly. "Look, I'm really gonna have to go now. You stay here for a while - I'll be back later and we can talk this over. Okay?"  
It was not okay with Zell. He wanted to share in everyone's euphoria back at Garden without a thorn in his side. Damn his sensitive nature. But on the other hand, with Seifer's personality he'd probably have disspeared by the time Zell got back - mysteriously vanishing for hours on end and turning up at Garden, with a cheerful sarcastic comment. "Worried, were we Dincht? I don't need you to play the mother role."  
Seifer said nothing but nodded.   
Zell returned the gesture and headed for the door, and turned the handle. It squeaked, but under the grating note he thought he heard Seifer say something. He nearly stopped, but he didn't believe - or understand - the words he heard. He opened the door and left, waving to his Ma he'd be back once he'd dealt with business back at Garden, and strolled purposefully along.  
After all, Seifer Almasy of all people, would never have said, "I'm sorry."  
  
Zell successfully sneaked back into Garden. He hadn't even bothered being sneaky. Everywhere, students and SeeDs were celebrating, talking, and generally prolonging it to get out of lessons.  
"Hey Zell!" Irvine called from a distance. Irvine looked conspiciously around, then said, "You'd best watch out. All the SeeDs in Garden are trying to get us at the moment. You'd better check on your Ma later - I saw a whole bunch determined to go to your house and find you!"  
"They did," said Zell without thinking. Oh, great. Now Irvine would know he had not been in Garden.  
Irvine simply grinned. "Tried to escape?" he laughed. "I'd have done the same thing. Still, on a good note, the female population in Garden seems to have grown all of a sudden." Irvine smirked again.  
"What's going on, now?" Zell asked, as a large group of Instructors and junior students began to sing cheerfully.  
"Squall tried making things turn back to normal, but like hell that's going to happen. So he's assembling everyone in the Quad and making some speech." Irvine paused. "That's in half-an-hour. I stuck around here to find everyone and tell them. We're supposed to stand on the stage."  
Zell paled.  
"We don't have to do anything," Irvine added quickly. "Stare at the sky or something. While Squall makes an idiot of himself and us."  
Zell felt very relieved. "Heh... he's not as organised as usual."  
Irvine grinned further. "Even Quistis joined the students in the celebrating. He's gonna have a hard time getting everyone. Still, it goes across the P.A. system, so anyone not there won't miss out too much..."  
Irvine looked thoughtful. "Except me. Standing in the middle of crowds of lovely SeeD girls..."  
Zell shook his head. "You need a hobby."  
"I have one," Irvine replied, still smiling. "Come on, Zell. Throw your gloves in your dorm room and let's find Selphie. She's been skippy all the way from FH to Balamb!"  
  
Seifer put his cup down. He was fed up, angry, and frustrated. Where could he begin to think about his problems? Oh hell, what did he want to think about those for? He'd been staring at the dregs for what could've been half an hour. But it wasn't making him feel any better. But on the other hand, thinking about things made him feel worse.  
  
He'd been fishing with Raijin and Fujin. He'd come to his senses once Ultemecia had abandoned him. They'd all agreed to go back to Garden. Pick up where they left. Seifer should have known it would have involved a little apologising and grovelling, but at the time having his friends at his side made everything look great. It felt like nothing had changed, especially when Raijin was kicked into the water. He had laughed, but at that moment Garden flew overhead, and his blood turned to ice, and anxieties flooded into his mind.  
Raijin had pulled himself out of the water, and even Fujin had rushed to help him. They both ran after Garden, eager to return.  
  
Fujin and Raijin hadn't seen him not run along with them. Perhaps they presumed he would be along soon. Maybe they hadn't noticed. But Seifer left the rods and lines and sat on a bench in the town, and tried not to panic. Then Mrs. Dincht saw him, and kindly offered some hospitality.  
He might have hated Zell, but he had a nice mother. Seifer accepted the offer, just in case anyone from Garden came into Balamb. How stupid could he have been to think Zell wouldn't visit his own home?!  
Seifer couldn't bring himself to go. He saw it land, feeling the breeze as it hit the ground, but felt, for probably the first time he admitted it, scared. He couldn't just walk in and have things the way they were.   
  
And that was his own fault.  
  
Seifer was feeling totally infuriated. He'd put down the cup and really did not know what he should be thinking. Everyone had been effected in some degree by the war between Galbadia and the Gardens. And what he, himself, had done.  
"I must be losing my mind," was the only real thought that kept surfacing. Seifer's best talent was that being able to lie to himself. To kid himself things weren't as bad as they were. Hell, it kept him sane when he realised he wasn't terribly popular back at Balamb Garden in the old days. He could kid himself battles with monsters were just as easy as the training practises. That he couldn't die, not with the skills he'd been taught, or at least had half-listened to in class, because he already knew it all.  
  
But how long could a person lie for before being found out? Especially when they lied to someone with a strong personality... even himself, unwittingly.  
"I'm losing it," he thought, running a hand through his hair over his scar, not feeling it. What had he done? He looked like a total coward now, by not going straight back to Garden. Worst still, he'd behaved like a total girl and practically told Zell - Zell Dincht of all people! - things he'd would have never have told anyone if his nerves hadn't gone like they were now.   
  
But Seifer was like that. He hated to ask for help, advice, solutions. He hated to admit defeat or wrong; and above all he'd never share feelings or his thoughts with people.  
"Even Rinoa," he thought. Sure, he didn't love her anymore. Life was like that. He could just barely swallow his pride and let her go with his rival, Squall. But even then, he hadn't opened up to her. That was one of the main reasons they stopped seeing each other. But that wasn't the only reason.  
  
But only Seifer knew why that was. 


End file.
